April 27, 2009Sit back with some friends, drop some Irish Car Bombs, and turn on the telly – video games are better when you’re drunk. Fact.
One could argue that everything is better when you’re drunk, but since this is a video game website, we’re sticking to our medium. Video games are especially suited for playing while inebriated over other drunken activities for a myriad of reasons: avoiding a DUI while wiping the club-girl sweat off your teeth and delaying your friends from puking in the back seat of your car being one of them (notice how I say ‘delaying’ because we all know it’s inevitable). I digress; the point is that you can have good-ol’ fashioned fun with your friends on the couch and skip the hassle of the hustle and flow.
Let us examine a few case studies. The game Fuzion Frenzy: not exactly the most engaging game of its day, however, have a few drinks and play that level where you have to jump and duck while going up a spiral and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Each time you beat your friends feels like you’ve performed successful brain surgery – and that’s a feeling you don’t often experience while sober (unless you’re a bad-ass neuro surgeon, in which case you’re probably not reading this article).
If you’ve ever played Halo on a Friday or Saturday night, you’ve no doubt been pitted against teams of drunken Spartans. What can be more satisfying than no-scoping an Elite while you sip a glass of pinot noir? It’s strange, too – there’s a magical point in the ascent of drunkenness in which you become unstoppable, as though the alcohol has given you clairvoyance. I think I got a “rampage” once while drinking bourbon one fine Saturday evening.
You name a sports game and I’ll name a sports game that’s better when you’re drunk. Basketball: yep; Football: you bet; Hockey: absolutely; Soccer or Futbol: wouldn’t have it any other way; Baseball: who the hell plays baseball? Gaming is a social behavior that, much like sports, improves with comradery. Who knew that busting out the NES Power Pad and playing track and field would be the best way to get the most incrimiating photos of people?
I believe all video games benefit from drunkenness, with the exception of Chessmaster. Drinking is a social behavior – unless you’re an alcoholic. Gaming is a social behavior – unless you play WoW. The two go together like cucumbers and vinegar. And just think how much fun it will be when 3-D gaming finally catches on. Just imagine Fuzion Frenzy in 3-D, drunk!